Christmas Socks in September.

Right now I'm curled up on my bed with
a blanket wrapped around me sipping on hot
green tea in hopes of easing my firey red
throat. Fall is in the air & allergies are
slowly creeping up on me.

This morning when I opened the front door
I could smell it and feel it at the same time.
Autumn.
It's so crazy how my life has suddenly taken a
big turn and is now in sync with the
approaching season.

I've made some big decisions recently.
I realized how I'm not going to give in to
complacency and settle, and that life only has the
boundaries that you set yourself.
Anything is possible.
So just as the Autumn leaves,
some pieces of my life are dying off, fading off
only to be replaced with new healthier pieces
in the appropriate timing.
And the whole process couldn't be more beautiful.


I dreaded the whole decision process but once
I figured I had to do what I had to do
an enormous burden was lifted off of me.
I honestly haven't felt this happy, this carefree,
and this free spirited in
...I honestly don't know when!

I thank God for my friends because during this
past trying time, they literally didn't leave my side.
There wasn't a single moment that one of them didn't
lend an ear and offering endless encouragement.
Even more so, last night was the first night since all of this
that I fell asleep alone without one of them there by
my side comforting me. They are amazing and I have
truly learned this weekend just how irreplaceable
each of them truly is.

Each of them shared plenty words of wisdom so here are
some that really stood out to me:
- You've got to trim the fat from your life to remain strong.
- Don't surround yourself with people who tolerate you, but
with people who celebrate you.
- Drop the weighted people that bring you down.
- Every relationship has to be give and take, half and half.

Early this morning I was getting ready for work,
rummaged through my drawer and found 1 of probably
10 pairs of Christmas socks and quickly slipped them on.
It was in this short split moment where I realized the exact line
where I'd been going wrong and where disappointment was getting
the best of me. I'd been celebrating things in my life
before their appropriate timing, things that were in
the far future and only thought and assumed to be
in the future. I was so certain that these certain
events would take place and had somehow set them in some sort of
non existant stone in my brain.

Sufjan couldn't have summed it up better
in his song "Holland."

..Counting miles before we set
Fall in love and fall apart
Things will end before they start..



I've now learned to embrace this new found chaos that
each new day of my life brings and love each second of it
instead of feeling unsure and unstable.
I feel so refreshed, like I've started a whole new life.

I'm going to travel this Earth, see all that it offers.
See all I need to see and find all that I need to find.