My current life has been absolute and utter craziness, and I'd have it no other way. I've been making a trip or two to Atlanta every week & within a year or two I will reside there and will call that city my home. The culture and diversity there is so immense, the people are so interesting & I could spend hours riding a bike to and from different boutiques, galleries, & museums. That's the type of place I want to call "home." Somewhere I am surrounded & saturated in creativity. I've lived in Augusta my whole 22 1/2 years of existence & it has been quiet and nice. But once faces from the past that I've said bye to with good reason become like the Recycling process & come circling back around out of entertainment & convenience, it becomes clear that it is time to say Goodbye & Hello to a new town & a new life.
It's crazy the things we will do for & because of "convenience," but that's another story..
+ having my best friend live within the city limits is the icing on the cake of it all :)
Isn't if funny how it takes only about a month to get to know someone, yet it takes decades & in some cases, one's own lifetime to truly get to know one's own self?
Fortunately for me, I fall under the category of the "decade" group. A couple decades + 2 1/2 to be exact. I now truly know what I want to do for a living & I actually have for quite some time now. But because I didn't follow my heart when I graduated & listened to others, second guessed myself & abilities & got scared, I now am going to have to take the longer "detour" route, if I may. Somehow, some way, I know this detour was all a part of His plan even though I may not see it now, I know it.
It's crazy how life brings about different types of people. It's crazy the roles they play & how some of them change a little bit of you. Others start of with one "you," & when they're done you're a whole new "You," a whole different person. Some of them chew you up & spit you out, others mold you, teach you, bring out the better person in you, and when their role in your life is complete and yours in theirs, you're left as a better person than you were before you began your journey with them. I've dealt with the change, I've seen the good & I've seen the bad. No matter the circumstances or situations you go through or that even others put you through, how you deal with them is all up to YOU. The person that you evolve into because of these people & situations is ultimately up to you. Let that be your comfort when bad things happen that feel totally and completely out of your control. You have control of what you do with you and what's been giving to you & who you become is because of YOU.
It's like August Boatright said in The Secret Life of Bees, "Some people start off one way & when life gets done with them they're completely someone else." I know I've changed the past couple of months & anyone who knows me well that spends a day with me can tell it too. At the beginning of the change I let bitterness harden my heart & I became someone I despised. Being a backfiring people pleaser for so many years,.. well there's only so much one can take. But that's the beauty of it all, there's always room for change & as long as life goes on there is always time & room for improvement.
That's the funny thing about us humans, we despise & fight against change when we know it is an essential & inevitable part of life. We fight to hold on & we fight to let go. If you aren't changing you aren't existing.
With all of this being said, I'm taking my last slurp of my third cup of coffee. I am forever an incurable, hopelessly happy coffee addict & I wouldn't have it any other way. Now that I have a few spare hours I'm headed over to Barnes & Noble to read up & rekindle my love for Dreamology, especially after the insane dream I had last night...but that my dear is another story.
xo
Joy Beth
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1 comment:
i can feel your contentment and i'm so happy you are content. :) i miss you joyseph!! i love you.
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