Patience.

But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
—Romans 8:25

The title is pretty self explanatory, I'm struggling with patience like never before and it can be pretty unnerving at times. Just as everyone else, I've always craved assurance, the feeling of just knowing that something is right, and the topics may vary but in this case there is one in particular. I finally have, what I believe to be this different knowing feeling, and as wonderful as it may sound, it really isn't. There is a right timing and place for everything and if either of them are off it becomes WRONG.

Right now, I would have imagined skipping around being happy just to have this assuring feeling but instead it's really quite frustrating! I start doubting myself, wondering if I'm really sure, analyzing the crap out of everything and then wondering if I'm just setting myself up for disappointment. Yeah, it's great. Weee.
I'm having to learn to just sit back, put it all in God's hands and not worry but trust him that he will handle everything and if this assuring feeling is actually as right on as it feels, then it will happen within the right timing & if not then something bigger and better will take it's place.

I was talking with a friend the other day and she turned on a song that isn't quite in my genre tastes but the lyrics were so right on my situation.

..And I have just googled the crap out of it and I can't even find the song nor the lyrics haha. Patience :) But anyways, the part that stood out to me went, "We speed up just to slow down." How true is that? We want to know how everything is going to turn out yet when the outcomes are unfolding we want everything to slow down that way we can enjoy it for longer. Or even relationships, we jump into things only to pull back the reigns in order to keep from diving head first into just a pile full of shallow emotions.

I discussed all of this stuff on my mind with my mom & it's really awesome because she has become like a best friend to me. She just listens and gives advice instead of having parental mode on lock 24/7. I love her and her encouragement, not to mention her wisdom gained from like experiences. She told me to just enjoy this time, wait & see, grow, and as always trust God in everything. And that's exactly what I'm going to try to do :)